Every vessel on the lake creates a different wake. Speedboats roar past, throwing big waves that can knock swimmers or swamp smaller craft. Pontoon party boats drift with music and laughter. Kayaks move quietly, close to the water, leaving almost no disturbance.
Different Boats, Different Wakes
What kind of boat are you in right now? After Erich’s death I became acutely aware of both sides of the wake equation. Someone else’s reckless “boat” had taken my son. I also saw how easy it is to be unaware of the damage our own speed and distraction can cause.
The lake holds stories of hit-and-run boating accidents where the driver never even felt the impact. That is a sobering metaphor for how we move through life and relationship.
After Loss: Both Sides of the Wake
We each choose our vessel and our speed. We can race through, creating chaos, or move with awareness and care. Some days we are the speedboat. Some days we are the one getting rocked by someone else’s wake. The lake teaches us to navigate both with grace.
In midlife, this awareness feels particularly important. We may carry more responsibility for the wakes we leave while also learning how to steady ourselves in the waves that reach us from others.
Choosing Our Speed and Awareness
The invitation is to move with greater presence—for ourselves and for the shores around us. This doesn’t mean never making waves. It means becoming more conscious of the impact our movement creates.
Small choices in how we speak, how we listen, how we hold space—these create the quality of wake we leave behind. The water remembers.
A Gentle Question for This Week
Perhaps this week you might notice: What kind of boat am I steering today? Am I moving with care? The lake offers no judgment, only reflection. We can offer ourselves the same gentleness as we learn to navigate with more awareness and compassion.
Or start with When the Body Speaks: 5 Ways to Listen Instead of Fix.
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