How Michael Singer Entered My Life
Some teachers arrive quietly, like a soft wind reminding you to breathe again. Others step into your life at a precise moment—so unmistakably timed that you know it’s no accident. Michael A. Singer was both for me. His teachings entered my world during a period of profound transition, then later carried me through the darkest pain a mother can endure. His voice, gentle yet uncompromisingly clear, has become one of the steady poles I orient my healing around.
It was 2016. I had just moved to Flagstaff, feeling unmoored in a new landscape—physically, emotionally, spiritually. In the mix of unpacking boxes and rebuilding rhythm, I stumbled upon The Untethered Soul. I didn’t know then what a companion it would become. Singer’s words felt like an anchor thrown into the swirling waters of transition. Shortly after, a friend invited me to a book club that was studying his work. It felt like fate—or maybe grace—extending a hand. Sitting in that circle, reading aloud passages that spoke of surrender and spaciousness, something in me softened. A door opened, and I walked through.
That season marked the beginning of a relationship with his teachings that continues to this day. His books, his weekly talks, and the simplicity of the practices he teaches have woven themselves into the fabric of how I live, heal, and show up for others.
The Teachings That Shifted Everything
Singer’s wisdom is deceptively simple. Not simplistic—but simple in the way that truth often is: clear, steady, and endlessly applicable.
Freedom comes from within, one surrendered moment at a time
For years I gripped, managed, braced, and resisted—believing that if I could control my outer world, I could protect my inner one. Singer gently dismantled that illusion. He taught me that real freedom is an inner event, not an outer accomplishment. It’s the ability to relax behind whatever the moment brings and let life move through you. This idea shaped how I respond to everything—from small daily irritations to life-altering grief.
The power of simple, repetitive truth
I love the simplicity in Singer’s work, paired with the repetition. Life has taught me that the simple things are often the most powerful, yet not necessarily the easiest. Repetition isn’t redundancy—it’s a gentle reorienting. A reminder. A hand on your shoulder saying, “Come back.” As we change, the teaching lands differently each time—so hearing it again and again is a blessing, not a bore.
A cosmic perspective that loosens the grip
Singer often offers a cosmic perspective—“Consider that 1.3 million Earths can fit inside the sun”—and with that image our small dramas drop into appropriate proportion. This reframing doesn’t minimize our suffering; it simply gives it room and context, which allows us to release unnecessary significance and breathe.
Reality vs. preference
Another teaching that landed hard and true: the distinction between reality and preference. Singer reframes suffering as the product of preferences—what we want to be different from what already is. This language is practical and immediate. When I can call a moment a “preference” rather than blame reality or myself, I gain access to an inner choice: hold the preference or release it.
Keeping the heart open—the real inner work
“Keep your heart open” is a phrase we’ve all heard, but Singer showed me what it truly demands. It takes strength to live with an open heart. That teaching became a lifeline after my son Erich was killed. In the raw landscape of grief, Singer reminded me that closing my heart—though understandable—creates blockages that calcify into prolonged suffering. Choosing, again and again, to feel the pain and let it move through me became my path toward healing.
The Practices I Still Use Today
His work isn’t theoretical—it’s endlessly practical. These are the practices that continue to shape my days and my healing:
- Relax and release: When tension arises—fear, frustration, overwhelm—I pause, soften my shoulders, and breathe. This single practice has saved me years of unnecessary stress.
- Watch the inner dialogue, don’t become it: Singer helped me separate the voice in my head from the one who notices the voice. That subtle shift changed everything.
- Keep the heart open in real time: I notice when my heart tightens—shallow breath, defensive thoughts—and I intentionally ease it, even if imperfectly.
- Inner cleaning as devotion: Clearing blockages so that the natural energy of joy (Shakti) can flow—this is a daily practice, not an occasional exercise.
- Return to the seat of awareness: When I get lost in the “object of consciousness” (worrying about outcomes, focusing on others’ needs), I bring myself back to the source of consciousness—my inner witness.
One recent example: after a fall on the ski slopes I realized I’d been distracted—lost in doing for others rather than staying present inside myself. The first talk I listened to afterward—Right Understanding — The Journey Back to the Self—was exactly the medicine I needed. It reminded me how easily I can get “lost in the object” and how important it is to stay seated in the source.
How His Guidance Shaped My Healing, My Work, and My Way of Being
Singer’s teachings are woven into everything I do—how I coach, how I write, how I support women through grief, menopause, autoimmune healing, and spiritual awakening.
His influence shows up in my work as a reminder that healing is an inner job, that energy must flow for the body and spirit to thrive, and that joy is our natural state when blockages are cleared. Life becomes more beautiful when we stop fighting reality and start breathing with it.
The community that has grown around these teachings has been equally powerful. A local group meeting to share how we apply Singer’s work nourishes me. Seeing how others integrate the teachings offers new life to familiar ideas—proof that healing magnifies when shared.
Reflections and Journal Prompts
Below are prompts to help you connect with your own inner circle of influences and to discover how their guidance shapes your life.
- Who are the people—living or passed—whose teachings have shaped your inner world? What drew you to them?
- What simple, powerful truths do you return to again and again? Where did you first hear them, and how have they evolved for you?
- When in your life have you felt the invitation to surrender? What did resisting look like? What did softening feel like?
- Where do you notice your heart beginning to close in daily life? What happens when you gently invite it to open again?
- What teachings help you stay aligned with your own pole star? How do they support your healing or spiritual practice?
- Who is in your inner circle of mentors—seen or unseen—and how do they guide your way of being?
If Michael Singer’s voice calls to you, you might start by reading The Untethered Soul or Living Untethered, and sampling his weekly talks on Sounds True. Over time, the simple practices add up—one surrendered moment at a time.
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